The Neglected Child And Abused Child

She sounds out in a crowd but, you must look for her. She is the child alone on the playground or the one fighting. The angry child is showing you how she is treated at home. In her eyes she carries hurt behind the hurt is anger. If she has been beaten down in spirit all, that you will see is the hurt if you take the time to look. If she is angry what you will see is her rebelling. In the small acts that a child is capable of doing. She will talk to much, maybe push a child in line, dawdle over work to be done in class. Or she might daydream to shut out the enemy: the abusive adults in her world. The sexually abused child will be showing another child what is happening to her. Maybe she is rubbing herself against a pole, or plays with herself. She may wet her panties.
She may not have her hair combed, her clothes maybe dirty, or they may be to big for her. Or, there is one that would shock you to find out she is abused. Most adults would not believe that she is being abused because her hair is shiny and clean. Her clothes will be new and clean. Her parents are involved in school activities.  Fine upstanding members in town. This abused child is the hardest to spot. To the world she has it all.

These children carry the same burden because they are because they are abused. Most children going through this thinks it is normal. In their small head they think somehow it is their fault. If I had to choose I would take physical abuse because that pain stops. Words get replayed in your head for many years and your self esteem is gone. They die a bit each day for lack of love.

They do not have someone that will listen and hear their fears, joys, and dreams. No one hurts for them or comforts them. Laughter is not part of their life only fear and uncertainty. In this time of racing for more money many children are lost. Their parents think love is a new shiny bike or, the after school lessons for the fad of the moment. But these children want time with their parents instead of being neglected. They would be shocked to learn how their child really feels. Money can not buy time because, it only comes in fleeting moments in the life of a child.

These children need hugs, kisses, and the words I love you. It is easy to tell a child yes to something so you can have peace and quiet. It takes a loving parent to say no because I love you. Being a parent is very hard work and is a life long job.
We must do all we can to end abuse to children. Education is the way so that others know what to look for in abused children.


Depression and its Effects

I think my depression began when I was molested at 4 years old. That was the first time I thought of suicide as a way to end the pain. My dad was scary when he was mad. I thought if I told mom or, him about what had happened he would kill that man. My beloved daddy would go to prison. Myself being in pain was much better than living without my daddy My mama hated me and was mean to me when he was at work. My older sister was the queen bee. Her clothes came from the best shops and had to be dry cleaned. On the other hand, mine came from thrift shops or, were her hand me downs. She had her own mental issues. I loved her very much and, feel sadness that in her time they could not help her.  We are still in baby steps when it comes to mental health. There are many myths out there to this day. We need more honest talk about it.

It is like  a sneaky fog that slowly takes over your thoughts and life. On moment you are fine, then something dark and cold comes,  into your head. You feel out-of-place and stupid suddenly. You are standing alone with no one to talk to, and you think ,I wish I was dead. That is the answer that runs through your head when you reach the bottom.

Many times that would be my go to answer when I hit the bottom. At 16 I married because, he tricked me into playing like the husband I wanted. I would tell my husband over 18 years that I needed professional help. I thought I had escaped constant insults at home. But I was wrong, he changed the day after we married and came home from our honeymoon.

I could not do any thing right: dress,hair, clothes, makeup, cooking, cleaning and playing cards. Everyday a part of me ran away in my head. Then the depression would come. I did not want to get out of bed at the worse times. Going to talk to 3 different professions over the years. Being sent by my request to our hospital psychology floor. They were not good but, I survived thinking about trying suicide.

The doctors decided I had what is known as winter depression due to lack of sunshine. It does get worse in the winter but I deal with it daily. Only those of us that battle depression understands what it is like.